COMMUNICATION HELPS
KEEPING THE LINES OPEN!
By Dr. Edward Watke Jr.
I. Practical Suggestions For Good Marital Communications.
1. When there are problems, each must be willing to admit he/she is part of the problem. (Genesis 8:8-19; Proverbs 20:6; 21:2)
2. Each person must be willing to change.
(John 5:6; Matthew 5:23-26; Colossians 3:8,9)
3. Avoid the use of emotionally charged words, like: “You don’t really love me.”
“You always do. . .” “You never do anything right.” “I don’t care. . .”
4. Be responsible for your own emotions, words, actions, and reactions. Don’t blame them on the other person. You got angry, lashed out, became depressed, etc. (Galatians 6:5; 6:7-9; James 1:13-15.) It is all a personal choice you know.
5. Refrain from having reruns on old arguments. (Ephesians 4:26,27)
6. Deal with one problem at a time. Solve one problem and then move on to the next. (Matthew 6:34 principle)
7. Deal in the present and not in the past. Hang a no fishing sign over the past unless it will help you to solve your present problems. (Philippians 3:12-14; Jeremiah 31:34; Isaiah 43:25)
8. Major on the positive instead of majoring on the negative. (Philippians 3:8)
II. Consider and Discuss What Happens With People Who Do Not Communicate Effectively. (The following are some results.)
1. Issues remain unclarified. (Proverbs 18:17)
2. Conflicts and misunderstandings are unresolved. (Matthew 5:23-26)
3. Wrong ideas remain uncorrected.
4. Confusion and disorder occur (I Cor. 14:33, 40)
5. Wise decision-making is thwarted. (Proverbs 18:13)
6. The development of deep unity and intimacy is hindered. (Amos 3:3)
7. Love and appreciation is not expressed.
8. Life is boring and and meaningless.
9. Burdens are not shared.
10. Hurts continue to linger.
11. Problems are not solved.
12. Children do not have hope and are not encouraged.
13. Needs are not met and loneliness and isolation takes place.
III. Consider and Discuss Various Methods of Communication. Verbal Is Only One Aspect. (Here are other ways we do communicate.)
1. Visually -- a wink, closed eyes, etc.
2. Verbally -- harsh voice, soft voice, etc., what you say or do not say and
how you say it
3. By notes and letters
4. With your body - hands, feet, etc
5. By your presence of absence
6. By a touch or a pat or a hug
7. By smiles or frowns (facial expressions)
8. By helping, and by a gift
9. By the use of your talents or gifts
10. By willingness or unwillingness to share
11. By listening or not listening
IV. Discuss What Has Hindered Your Communication In the Past. (Think of issues or times when you have not communicated well and analyze what happened. List these times below and discuss what happened.)
1.____________________________________________________
2.____________________________________________________
3.____________________________________________________
4.____________________________________________________
V. Make a List of All Your Unresolved Conflicts or Disagreements. (Begin to work on them one by one. Pray together about these problems. Find biblical solutions.)
1.____________________________________________________
2.____________________________________________________
3.____________________________________________________
4.____________________________________________________
VI. What Do You Think Needs To Be Brought Out and Discussed in Your Marriage?
1.____________________________________________________
2.____________________________________________________
3.____________________________________________________
VII. Make a List of Helps to Good Communication. Look up the following verses. (Write a phrase from the verse.)
1. Psalm 141:3________________________________________________________
2. Isaiah 50:4_________________________________________________________
3. Proverbs 12:25______________________________________________________
4. Proverbs 15:2_______________________________________________________
5. Proverbs 15:28______________________________________________________
6. Proverbs 15:1_______________________________________________________
7. Proverbs 15:23______________________________________________________
8. Proverbs 18:23______________________________________________________
9. Proverbs 20:5_______________________________________________________
10. Proverbs 25:9_______________________________________________________
VIII. Make a List of Things That Are Circuit Jammers. (hindrances to good communication)
1. Ephesians 4:25,26__________________________________________________
2. Ephesians 4:29_____________________________________________________
3. Colossians 3:8______________________________________________________
4. Colossians 3:9______________________________________________________
5. Proverbs 11:13_____________________________________________________
6. Colossians 3:19_____________________________________________________
7. Ephesians 4:31_____________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________
8. James 4:6_________________________________________________________
9. I Peter 3:9__________________________________________________________
IX. What Characteristics Do You Need to Build In Your Life That Will Help Your Communication?
1. James 4:10________________________________________________________
2. Colossians 3:12_____________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
3. Colossians 3:13_____________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________
Revival In the Home Ministries #.